Listen, Ponder, Speak

There is a a Kurdish proverb I repeat to myself in times of frustration, "Listen a hundred times; ponder a thousand times; speak once." It is very good advice that can be very hard to follow. We all want to be heard, we all want our opinions to be respected. But how important is it to listener and think before we speak?

Listen a hundred times, if I did that how much more successful would I be in my relationships with others? Ponder a thousand times, if I did that how much more would I be able to understand those around me? While these are great questions it is the last part of the proverb that strikes home for me: speak once!

Wow, sometimes I wonder if that is even possible. Speak once, what if I am angry or my feelings have been hurt? What is the other person is rude or won't stop talking? What if I am right and I know the other person is wrong. What if Oprah calls and asks me how I feel about the royal wedding? Speak once?

Too often I have engaged my tongue before my ears and mind have caught up, and I have paid for my folly. I have hurt others, caused misunderstandings, made folks angry or just been written off as rude and self-centered. Speak once, after thinking, after listening.

In the New Testament James says something very similar which I also repeat to myself often, "My dear brothers, take note of this; Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for a man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." James 1:19-20

There it is again, quick to listen, slow to speak. Then James drives it home by pointing out that this will help us avoid anger and warns us that anger will not bring about the righteous life God desires. So when I work through all of this I come away with a proverb of my own:

Rev, be quick to listen, think about what is being said and keep it in context. Then respond in a concise manner, not out of anger, but in a way that honors God and the thoughts and feelings of others.

Now I believe that advice has success written all over it. Time will tell, I'll keep you posted.

RefRev